The Ramblings of a Raving Mad Rambler

James Gomez

2006-05-09T17:08:00.000+08:00

After all the Hooha of the election, the RMR figured surely he must have something to say. Afterall, the RMR had been bombarded constantly by "insightful" and "meaningful" headlines like the one below.
Talking about James Gomez, the RMR wonders what the trial of our dear Mr Gomez would be like? (Cue dream entering music, droom drroooom drroooom droomm....)

*The scene opens at a court room in the new fugly pink supreme court*

Mr Haras Singh, the top dog lawyer representing the election committee, is questioning his witness.

Haras Singh: "Eh Gomez... Betta tell the trooth ok? You lie about handing up the form right?"

Judge:"You do not need to answer that question, Mr Gomez... Only good english is tolerated in Singaporean courts"

Gomez: "I'll answer the question. You want answers?"

Haras Singh: "I think I'm entitled to them."

Gomez: "You want answers?!"

Haras Singh: "I want the truth!"

Gomez: "You can't handle the truth!

Singh, we live in a country that has a weak opposition, and that weak opposition has to be provided by men with no brains. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Mr Harvard Haras Singh? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for your 66.6%, and you curse Mr Chee Soon Juan. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know -- that 66.6% , while embrassing, is still not that bad; and my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves your FACE.

You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that video -- you need me on that video.

We use phrases like "Multi-party Democracy", "Lift-upgrading for all", "Help us get our deposit back". We use these phrases as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punch line.

I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the security of the very tyranny that I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it.

I would rather that you just said "thank you" and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a form and join the worker's party. Either way, I don't give a DAMN what you think you're entitled to!

Haras Singh: "Did you lie about handing up the form?"

Gomez: "I did the job I was --"

Haras Singh: -- "DID YOU LIE ABOUT HANDING UP THE FORM?!"

Gomez: "You're god damn right I did!!!"

Life update

2006-03-07T22:02:00.000+08:00

CATCH UP Blog!

For all you people who think that the RMR has just been slacking off. You are absolutely right...

In any case, when the RMR was not wasting time in some corner of the office. This is what he has been up to:

1. Major Bling bling

The RMR gave away a piece of major bling bling to his number 1 gal in the world. Awww... ...

2. RMR in Hanoi

Raving Mad in Hanoi, the most happening and modern city in the world. Picture shows man patiently waiting for World X-games wake boarding championship to start. Sources say that man may have to sit there for quite some time.

3. Tortured in Sydney

The RMR got sent to Sydney for 6 weeks of gruelling work. On the one day he was able to go sight seeing, he was told he had to walk around with a luminous green placard pasted to his forehead.

The Return of the RMR

2006-02-27T11:52:00.000+08:00

A long time ago....
In a galaxy far far away...

The RMR started a blog that he had wished would become the most popular blog in the entire freaking universe. But alas, it was not to be ... ... The "dark side", in the form crappy work schedules and stupid projects, overcame the RMR ... ...

And then a wrinkly, green bull-dog like creature came to the RMR and told him in his dreams, "Not to submit to lousy work schedule, You can... Blog again, You must!!!"

Stay tuned folks... :)

3rd Person Frustration

2005-10-10T22:30:00.000+08:00

After writing a couple of entries in the third person, the RMR is getting bored of this 3rd person bullshit. Enough, snap out of it! I keep thinking to myself, am I trying to bluff myself into thinking that the RMR is not really the person writing this crappy blog. Hence, he is not really doing all the crappy things that he is blogging about... Maybe, I'll blame it on the friend, who told me that...

"Dude, if you want to blog on the internet... You must get a cool internet name so that nobody will know who you are..."

Judging by the things I've been reading about the racist bloggers in jail. I think maybe it is really better to stay anonymous. (Gawd... My first political statement on this blog... The ISD is SOOOO gonna get me now... They are probably staking out Planet Fitness and the "Hokkien Street Bat Koot Teh" stall as we speak)

This thread line did start me thinking... What kind of person refers to himself in the 3rd person?... Thinking about this, the RMR found that he was in the company of some truly illustrious personalities...

"GGRRRRRRR!!!!! You BETTER be trembling in your sleep tonight, UNDERTAKER... BE AFRAID, VERY AFRAID!!!! ... BECOS THE ROCK, the people's champion is gonna kick your ass at Royal Rumble!!!! GRRRR...." - Inspirational athlete in the highly competitive field of professional wrestling, "The Rock"

"Come give Elmo a hug.... Ohhh, Elmo loves you!!!" - Impossibly jovial (read gay) and wildy popular red furry thing that appears on "hit" TV show "Sesame Street", Elmo

"Ah Bian yao tai wan zhi you..." Commanding and eloquent Leader of "Democratic" Taiwan, President Chen Shui Bian (Affectionately known as Ahh Bian)

P.S: Apologies to my loyal fans... All three or so of you... Very busy lah last week, no time to blog :P

Fab Flab Fighting Raving Mad Rambler

2005-09-27T21:47:00.000+08:00

Following the rather unsavoury comments made by one ex-old friend, the RMR began to reflect on his weight. The RMR had never really felt insecure about his size, but perhaps... ... There really was a bit too much of the RMR to love. Hence, the RMR decided to start going to... ...

Working out on the machines and running on the thread mill made the RMR feel really fabulous. So after a thoroughly satisfying workout, the Raving Mad Rambler decided to be super health conscious and wolf down a yummy healthy Subway sandwich for lunch. He thought to himself, what worked for Jared should definitely work for me. (For those of you, who have not heard the wonderful story of Jared. Get more details available after the jump http://www.subway.com/subwayroot/MenuNutrition/Jared/jaredsStory.aspx)

As the RMR drudged towards his favourite sandwich joint, he was greeted with heady & seductive aroma emanating from the Hokkien Street BAT KOOT TEH stall. (Don't ask me why its not spelt "Bah Ku Teh" like all the other stalls. Apparently, the store owner must have felt that his Bat Koot Teh was very "koot" and a league above the rest.)

Hence, the great internal battle began to rage!

Sadly, when it comes to such battles in the RMR's head, there can be only one outcome... A first round knock out!!! :(

...

The bah koot teh was not actually really very "koot", maybe the turtle soup next time... :P

Freakonomics: Fiendishly Good Book

2005-09-21T21:37:00.000+08:00

It is not often that the RMR reads so when he manages to finish a book in the record time of 1.5 weeks! You just have got to sit up and take note that this book is some good shit. (Not the way chinese people trying to be cool say "good shit", but the way cool Black/Jamaican People say "good shit") The book itself is basically about nothing and prides itself for having no unifying theme. However, it asks some crazy questions and comes up with some unbelievable answers. For example, How are real estates agents like the Klu Kux Klan? Why are Sumo wrestlers similar to High School Teachers? Intrigued? Buy the book or come borrow it from the RMR :)

After reading the book, the RMR has come to a startling realisation. There is a fine line between Genius and Madness. Genius naturally being Steven Levitt and Madness being the RMR.

Monday Blues

2005-09-19T20:20:00.000+08:00

The Raving Mad Rambler (RMR) was feeling distinctly blue today. So he decided to wear a fugly blue shirt to work and announce to the world how blue he felt. Please find attached, Picture of "One Fugly blue shirt".

Sadly, no one noticed. It would have really made my day if a caring colleague had just strolled up to me and said, "Dude, that's one fugly shirt!"... Maybe the shirt ain't that fugly after all. Note to self: Find fuglier blue shirt.

The day did get better though, the RMR met an old friend for lunch.
Ah... ... Meeting someone you have not seen in a long time is such a refreshing and wonderful experience.

Old Friend : " Hi! Wow RMR! You've grown so much fatter."

RMR: "Thanks dear. You look gorgeous with your orangy brown hair. Just like a cao Ah Lian."

*Big Hug* Ahhh... .... With friends like these, who needs enemies....

P.S: Hey Mag, I don't really think you look like cao Ah Lian. But only if you don't really think, I'm fat... :)

How perverse are you? (Take the test)

2005-09-16T11:06:00.000+08:00

See anything wrong with the book cover on the Right?

Came across this pair of book covers on http://www.boingboing.net/ . Apparently the full title of this religious book is "'After You've Blown It: Reconnecting with God and Others." The cover on the left is the re-printed cover of the book.

Don't get it? So innocent! :)

Hey kid sister! If you are reading this, COVER your eyes and rapidly exit this page!

Wow! My own Webspace.... Wicked!!!!

2005-09-15T22:14:00.000+08:00

Ha! Finally, an avenue for me to inflict my unique brand of Corny humour and "Superior" Logic onto the world! Watch this Space!